She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
