I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
