Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize