remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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