..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
