is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
