dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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