scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
