Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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