Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i think i have two assholes
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize