i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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