I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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