I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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