my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
