508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
