WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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