South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
