Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Can you bring me the toilet please
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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