Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
