We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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