I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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