I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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