Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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