trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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