well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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