The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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