dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
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