I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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