In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
