I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
