I think my fart just growled at me.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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