i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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