We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize