what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
