Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
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Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
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Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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