Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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