you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
