I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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