So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
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