You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
