when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
