When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
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This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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