so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
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