This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You've changed since you got that strap on
Text me some of your sweat
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
