did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize