'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I see more hoeing in ur future
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
