i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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