that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
