Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
