Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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