I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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