I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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