I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
