I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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