you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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