I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
