So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
