No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
