She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
